MoJ Memo – the hidden dangers in the office



This is a genuine memo (anonymised) from the MoJ, back from when it was the Lord Chancellor’s department. I came across it in my emails whilst I was looking for something else, so thought I’d share. I doubt if much has changed since then. Certainly from what I’ve heard it hasn’t … They’re still having meetings about staples (or so I’m reliably informed) and getting to grips with the real issues that we face in the world.


Subject: The use of Staples

To all members of staff.

It has been necessary to advise all staff that due to reports of painful cuts to hands, staples must not be used on mail for any reason.

Messengers have been instructed not to pick up mail that has been fastened with staples. If messengers see mail that has been stapled, they will bring it to the attention of staff, but the mail will not be picked up.

These instructions have been implemented in line with the Departmental Health & Safety Policy.

Royal Mail have advised me that in line with their H&S policy, mail to be franked should not be fastened with staples.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.


5 thoughts on “MoJ Memo – the hidden dangers in the office

  1. Entertaining in its way, and it’s always a pity to spoil a good story with the facts, but MoJ routinely staple letters of more than one page and the Courts Service, a MoJ baby, does the same with orders.

    I wonder if it was ever more than a leg-pull. Like the joke letterhead which circulates in a certain Government Department for “use” in answering FoI requests. it is the ordinary letterhead with a diagonal watermark in large blue type reading “now piss off and get a life”.

  2. When I was in articles, as we then called them, in the City in the Seventies a memo (yes, on a piece of paper, typed then copied) went round to all members of the Property Department, partners for information, to the effect that: “Carelessness has developed about leaving deeds on desks overnight. Deeds are valuable and must be locked away safely. We would have no answer to an action for negligence if they got lost out of the office”.

    I managed to sneak a memo in the system saying: “Carelessness has developed about leaving partners in their offices late at night. Partners are peculiar and must be packed off in their trains to the suburbs. We would have no answer to an action for nuisance if they got out of the office and ran amuck in the streets”.

    There was one partner how never, ever laughed, and he was seen coming very near to a smile.

  3. Why oh why does the MoJ keep trying to divert attention from the REAL problem here? We all know that paper cuts represent a far more serious threat to life and limb. Concerns over staples imply widespread possession of a stapler, completely disregarding the fact that certain grades of worker have no access to a stapler. Such outdated staplist attitudes smack of the sort of elitism that has no place in the modern office environment.

    Please also join my campaign to eliminate friction-burns induced by repetitive paper folding in the workplace – in this day and age we really should not be forced to fold letters before placing in envelopes.

  4. Pingback: Save UK justice: The Blogs | ilegality

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